I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
