I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
