my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
