Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
