if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
