the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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