well I can't set my house on fire every night
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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