THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize