If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
