I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
