He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
