I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
