so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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