that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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