Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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