i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
