Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Most awkward sex ever...

(314): View more from Missouri

And im texting you in the middle.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel

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(732): View more from New Jersey

His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him

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(314): View more from Missouri

WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT

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(919): View more from North Carolina

He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.

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(210): View more from Texas

i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on

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(653): View more from

I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more

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