You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
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