i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
