I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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