does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm at about main and main street
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
