It's like God shit irony all over that family
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Less talking, more tequila
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
