dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Houston, we have a blender
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
