if you like me you must not know who I am
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
