I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize