you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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