her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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