and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
