the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
