I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
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im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
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I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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