i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
