matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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