Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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