i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
