and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The air was thick with penises
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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