Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
