My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
