Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
