My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
