Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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