Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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