and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
