I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
we're so committed to being not committed
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
