I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
