The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
