Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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