Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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