does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Do vagina's smell?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
