I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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