I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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