standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize