Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
