Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I will pee on everything he values.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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