discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
