I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
