Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
